IMPORTANT AUTHOR NOTES! (There, NOW let's see you not read this!) OR you could call this 'Watashi Hitsuyo Anata' since I already have a poem called 'Don't', but this fic is after the song by Jewel called, lo and behold, 'Don't'. So, here's what happened, exactly. It was a party, a really wild party, it was Jumpin, Jumpin and yes, they were playing Destiny's Child! So, this song ran into a fic idea I had for a continuation of 'My Fallen Angel'. They got to talking, had a couple beers then went upstair for a while, and this was the result. No, I'm kidding. They got married afterwards...... no, seriously no, I AM kidding. I didn't want to do a straight nother' story about Tai and Matt's torrid love affair in the future cause' that would make it a... *shudder* s-e-r-i-e-s............. and that I do not want to do, but I had this really sweet idea about the two of them actually falling in love again. What I've written in the last few fics was just the consummination of buried feelings, which is why they've been all like fight! kiss... fight! kiss... understand? I hope so, cause' I'm starting to scare myself with all this deep romantic stuff that I shouldn't be writing when I'm only thirteen... >SIGH< that's what years of the X-Files and analyzing Mulder and Scully's twisted relationship gets you... a damn good Taito fic writer... though some of you would say I'm, getting an ego. You are wrong... I already had an ego...
N-e-wayz, Tai and Matt aren't MY characters. MY characters may have love problems (AHHH! I left Alex and Sandy like THAT >< last time I left off writing... ohhhh... nevyminds!) but nothing like these two! I'M starting to get fusterated with them and I'M the one putting theme through all this... >SIGH< that reminds me, I've learned if you warn somebody about something ahead of hand, you can't get in trouble for it.... soooooo.... I'm sorry to say this, no happy ending.... there, you can't spaz at me now (yes, Cali, I'm talking to you since I KNOW you're reading this!) I do not write happy endings. And if you say 'What about 'Broken Glass'.... just you wait until the sequel....

It didn't matter that it was pitch black here, or that the rain was coming down so hard it would cut through one's skin, Taichi knew who it was. And he was looking for him, so wasn't this fortunate? It wasn't just his appearance, though that would be enough. Wild twany hair, whipping in the wind, that one strand always falling just so. Dressed head to toe in black, tattered trench coat flapping around his knees. The way he carried himself, no one walked with shame of a stained past and such a miserable slouch of depression yet with the same amount of foolish pride and unwavering dignanty. The way he breathed, his gaze over the side of the cliff was positively suicidal and when he turned his icy shappire eyes towards that direction, spotting Tai with instant recognition, looking him over, then meeting his eyes, Taichi felt the breath knocked out of him. Was it strange... wrong?... that even after all these years, the sight of Yamato still left him breathless.
Yamato's eyes narrowed to azure slits. Even from where he was, Taichi could easily read the conflicted mixture of hate and love forming on his beautiful face.
What the hell am I doing here he asked himself I should've just told Takeru to come himself if he was so worried about him....
Matt shook his head and turned his gaze back to the cliffside. Tai sighed and approached.

(Don't walk too close...)

"Strange running into you at a place like this..." Yamato muttered.
"Exactly what kind of 'place' is this?"
Matt raised an eyebrow and grinned a sad smile "You either come here to make-out behind your parents backs... or commit suicide."
"Of course."
The two just stood in silence a moment "You'd never actually do it." Tai bit his lip "You're all talk, aren't you?"
Matt just stared at him "What the hell are you talking about!?"
"Ummm... well..."
"Tai, I was just kidding. I only come here to think."
"Oh..."

((Don't breathe so soft...)

"So what are you doing here?"
"TK's worried about you."
"I figured that. He's the only one who knows I come here. I mean why are you in Nagasaki? Bussiness trip?"
"No." Tai shook his head slowly "I'm just here to pick up a wedding dress..." he stopped himself there, knowing he had said too much.
"Who's getting married now? Sora?"
Tai bit his lip "Um.... no... I am..."
Matt reeled back in shock, staring at Tai, then moving his gaze to nothing in particular.
Tai place a hand on his shoulder "I'm sorry Matt, but I can't dwell on it forever..." he whispered.
"... like me." Matt hissed bitterly, a single tear drop dripping from the corner of his eye, but mixing with the rain less than a second later.
Tai didn't say anything, only considered what Yamato had just said.
Matt heaved a heavy, shuddering sigh "No... I... I'M sorry. I should be happy for you. You deserve better than someone who makes passionate love to you, then tells you how much he hates you..."
"Or someone who'll tell you he needs you before leaving..." Tai said softly.

(Don't talk so sweet, don't sing...)

Matt nodded in thankful acknowledgement of Tai admitting his mistakes, then turned his head away.
Tai didn't know what came over him then. He reached around and cupped Matt's soft cheek in his hand, brushing that one rebellious strand out of his eyes. He always looked so innocent when he cried. Yamato Ishida, the brooding one. The depressive guy hanging out alone in the corner, never seemed happy. And it just made Tai want to stay there with him. He hated the feeling, because he knew it wasn't right. He tried to push it down, but before he knew it, it was like the entire world, the rain, the pounding, the wetness, the dull moonlight and the forboding cliff became a frozen blur as he fell into Yamato's arms, kissing him hard, feeling the nimble hands across his back, pulling him down to the ground, ignoring the fact that the ground was about two feet of wet mud. He didn't mind that he was sinking into it. He was sinking into a pair of warm arms at the same time.
Suddenly, Yamato pulled away violently and stared at Taichi, gasping for breath.
"My god Taichi..." he panted a moment later "You'll be a married man soon."
Taichi aquired a blank look remisianct of his younger years, recovering from what had just happened. He pushed Matt off of him, who fell exausted into the mud beside him.

(Don't lay oh so near...)

"Oh... god..." Taichi pressed his hands to his forehead trying to figure out what had just been going through his mind.
Matt paused a moment, debating whether to say what he wanted to... "Well..." he began "You guys COULD go on that American show... 'Jerry Springer'... 'What your man REALLY does on business trips'."
Tai shot him a dissproving look "Real mature."
Matt grinned "It's hard to be mature when you've just made out with someone in the rain in mud like High School students."
Taichi looked at him horrified "You... you didn't really do... that... in High School, did you."
Matt sighed and looked at the cloudy sky, sheilding his eyes from the rain "I did alot of things in High School..."
"Like...."
"Listen Taichi, I don't really want to talk about it."
"And that's your problem."
"What would you know..."
"Enough."
Matt glanced at him, then away again quickly.
"And what exactly do you mean by that?"
Taichi sat up "You know what I mean. I know why you're such an unhappy person. Gabumon hit on it too. I thought me and him had all your walls knocked down but you seemed to have rebuilt them......." Taichi gazed at Matt a long moment, making him feel uncomfortable "Why do you always wear that trench coat?"
Matt looked at him funny "What kind of question is that?"
"Just take it off."
Matt smirked "Oh, that sounds good..."
Tai jumped over and grabbed the trech coat by the arms and began tugging it off much to Yamato's dismay. Tai won in the end, and he slipped the rain weighted garmet from Matt's bare arms. He was wearing a black sleeveless top, baggy with a thick neck. (*A/N*sound familiar?)
Tai just sat there, staring at Matt with sympathy. Matt hated it.
"What's your problem!?"
"My god Matt... you're so thin..."
"I've always been thin...."
"Not like this! I can practically see your ribs through your shirt."
"That's because, thanks to you, my shirt is soaked."
"Yama..." Tai's amber eyes just looked him over, but soon found themselves caught in Matt's dangerous glare.
"Taichi..." he began gravely "You're covered in mud."
Tai nodded, aware of Matt's amazing ability to change the subject "Yeah, I know... but so are you.
A mischivious smirk found it's way across Matt's rain streaked face "Then, you won't mind if I do this..." Matt caught Tai off gaurd, pouncing on him, kissing him passionately and pushing him to the ground again.

(Please don't let me fall in love with you again...)

With great effort, Tai ripped Matt away from him "Matt... you were the one reminding me of my faithful fianceee..."
Yamato aquired a look of pure mock evil "Yes... indeed I was, wasn't I..." he barked out a fake laugh of malice, then became serious again "Sorry..."
There was a breif moment of silence.
"Matt... you're still on top of me."
Matt smiled again "Yes, I know. The rain's too hard I can't get up."
Tai sighed "Are you trying to seduce me Yamato?"
"Yes. I am. Just like you seduced me that night..."
"I didn't seduce you!" Tai nearly yelled "If anything, YOU seduced me!"
Matt laughed "I'm just kidding... at the risk of sounding extremely flirtatious... you're cute when you get all worked up like that."
Tai tilted his head at Matt, eyeing him with intrest.
"Tell me what you're thinking Taichi."
"..... you're happy."
Matt raised an eyebrow "Come again."
Tai smiled "Right now, you're happy."
Matt bit a lip "You'd never let it go if I said it was because of you, would you?"
"Of course not."
Matt grabbed the collar of Tai's shirt, pulling his face close, then leaned over and whispered in his ear "Kiko koibito..." he breathed "You're getting much to serious about this....."
"You ARE trying to seduce me." Tai whispered back.
"TRYING to?" Matt snickered a snicker that nearly was a giggle "I'd say it's working pretty well."

(Please let me forget...)

This time Tai didn't object as Matt drew him closer and pressed their lips together, not as passionately, but softly. He kissed him again, and again, leaning back into the soft ground.

(All those sweet smiles...)

Taichi closed his eyes, pulling Yamato closer, kissing him harder, his mind clearing of any thoughts.

(All the passion...)

He felt Yamato's spindley arms wrap around him, rubbing up and down his spine in a comforting rythm.

(All of the peace, the heat, the pain...)

Then Matt broke away, his face inches from Tai's, rain dripping from his cheeks, but as the drops rolled onto his face, and one trickled down, landing on his lip, Tai could taste they were salty. Tears. He gazed up into Yamato's eyes, no longer icy, but warm. Open. Every emotion he was feeling visable through the azure irises.
"Yama?" Tai asked.
"Taichi..." Matt's voice was barely audible and choked "Taichi... I..." he gulped back something. Tai could feel the shudders that wracked his frail body as he tried to hold the tears back.

(All those blue skys where your words were my freedom...)

"Taichi... I... I... before you leave... be... before I go back to hating you again..."
Tai reached up and wiped the gobs of tears forming under Matt's eyes away. "Yama..."

(Please don't let me fall in love with you again...)

"Baka..." Matt's face contorted violently ".... I love you."
Tai took a deep breath as he attempted to hold back whatever he was feeling right then. Matt had never told him he'd loved him. Love was the one thing he was afraid of, especially of the words 'I love you'. And now, after all they'd been through. After everything he'd put him through...

(Too many times I've cared too much...)

"Oh god..." Tai felt burning tears. Tears of despair, of that feeling of being torn between his life and the one thing he really truly wanted "Oh god Yamato..."
Yamato closed his eyes, ashamed. Taichi pulled him into his arms. Matt thankfully rested his head on Tai's chest. There was a long silence. The rain lightened a bit and the clouds thinned. Eventually the storm had calmed enough all he could hear was Matt's steady breathing.
"Yamato..." he wondered softly "Yamato, are you asleep?"
"Wouldn't that just be so conveinent for you to make an akward exit." Matt answered bitterly.
Tai didn't answer.
"You say it's better like this..." Matt began, his throat still clenched closed with choked tears "... but do you even believe that."
"Don't do this Yama..."
"Do what?"
"Make me choose between you and the rest of my life..."

(I've stood on the edge and seen that you held my hand...)

"Is it really that hard of a decision. You seemed to have already chosen."
Tai didn't answer.
"I can't really blame you..."
"Do you think I'd be here if I had chosen?" Tai snapped suddenly.
"... what do you mean by that?"
"Sometimes, Yamato, you can be so self centered. Do you believe I never think about you. That if I just went and lived my life after this, everything'd be fine. That I could, would, just forget you."
Matt was silent this time.
"I know I'll have to choose my lfe. My friends, my job, fiancee... but... oh god Yamato why did you tell me you loved me!? Do you have any idea how hard that makes it!?"
"Taichi...."
"Everything you want isn't always everything you need..." (*A/N* I REALLY like that song!)
Matt laughed "I'd never thought I'd live to hear Taichi Kamiya get philosical."
"Matt... what I mean is..."
"I know what you mean." Matt interrupted. He forced himself up and looked Tai in the eyes.

(And knowing all too well I couldn't hide from those eyes...)

"Go." he said with painful finality.
"Matt?"
"Just... go. I won't stop you. Just get up and walk away."
"Matt...."
Matt grabbed his shoulders and pulled him up viciously. He stopped a moment, caught by Tai's pleading gaze and kissed him, long and hard. Sweetly and softly, yet with ferverous passion. With sadness, rage, happiness. With emotion. Tai felt like jelly when he finally pulled away. Matt jerked him roughly to his feet "One of us needs to stop this madness, and I can see it's not going to be you. Now go Taichi. Go, pick up the wedding dress, go back to your girl. Get married and forget you ever met me."
"You can't be serious..."
"And cancel all your business trips to Nagasaki. I'm not moving for you."
"Seems we part on better terms every time." Tai smiled.
"And remember I'll always be here if you want an extra-marital affair."
Tai just stared in horror "You... are kidding, right?" he asked fearfully.
Matt nodded. Tai slipped his hand beneath his chin and began to draw his face nearer, but Matt stopped him.
"Don't." He shook his head sadly "I'm not sure I could..."
Tai nodded but didn't remove his hand, he just held Yamato's face taking one final gaze, fighting the urge to kiss him.
"Go..." Matt whispered.
Tai painfully took his hand from the face he loved so painfully, then turned and walked away.

(Please don't let me fall in love with you again....)

And he didn't look back...

THE END