Kyra: Kick some butt, Sailor Jupiter! Ha-HA! That ignorant Negaverse creep! Ha! Sailor Jupiter WASTED you! Yes! And Sailor Uranus takes the stage!
Shawn (Kyra?s brother): *sweatdrops* They aren't real.
Shawn: Whatever.....
Kyra: I'm going on the computer! Who needs annoying big brothers like you commenting about my obsessions?
*Kyra goes on the computer and begins to go on-line. Suddenly, she is struck by an idea.*
Kyra: Heeeeeeyyyyyy......
*Kyra enters the Digimon studios*
Kyra: *turning to the new Director* Hi! I was wondering, could I be a part of Digimon, the T.V. show?
Mr. Knowitall (the director): And why?
Kyra: Remember how Kari got in? *holds out a stack of $20s*
Mr. Knowitall: *subtly takes the money* The dressing room is thataway.
Kyra: *smiling brightly* Thank you!
*Kyra heads towards the dressing rooms*
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Tai: So my agent says, Tai, my boy, you could be BIG! Let?s do lunch.
Sora: And considering your agent's a sexy super model, you agreed.
Tai: No...my agent's a guy.
Sora: Exactly my point.
Tai: *glares at Sora* Why you [censored] little [censored]!
Sora: Auugggghhhh! *runs*
*Kyra walks into the room, causing everyone to stop what they're doing and stare at her in amazement (T.K., Kari), or hatred (Sora, Mimi), or revulsion (Tai, Matt, Joe), or amusement, because they knew what was going on (Izzy, obviously)*
Kyra: Hi, guys! I'm a new Digidestined!
*Everyone save Kyra and Izzy sweatdrop*
Matt: WHAT?!
Tai: No way! You can't just become a Digidestined!
Kyra: Sure you can. Didn't you read the fine print on your contract? And I quote: ?If Kyra Deceemerio wishes to become a Digidestined, and bribes the current Director with the proper amount of money, she may become one and is permitted to submit ideas for the show whenever she wishes.?
*All Digidestined pull out their contracts and read.*
Sora: *looking up* Hey! There isn't any fine print here!
Kyra: *sighs* Here. *pulls out portable microscope*
*Matt looks through the microscope*
Matt: I STILL can't see anything.
Kyra: *sweatdrops* It?s only at X10, duh! *switches the focus to X100*
Matt: Ohhhh...... now I see.
Joe: YOU are queen of fine print.
*Kyra bows, the Digidestined sweatdrop*
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Mr. Knowitall: All right, kids, we're going to work on the new episode, you know, the one where you all go up against Acolypmon?
Mimi: Um.... how are we going to explain Kyra?
Mr. Knowitall: There will be a few ep.s before that explaining her arrival, but right now, I want to work on this episode.
Kyra: Um... Mr. Knowitall?
Mr. Knowitall: Yes?
Kyra: I have a few suggestions for a new and improved Digimon T.V. show!
Mr. Knowitall: Oh?
*Kyra whispers her plan to Mr. Knowitall; who smiles and nods*
Mr. Knowitall: Guess what, kids?!
All: *in weary voices* What?
Mr. Knowitall: We're changing the show!
All: *in surprised voices* To what?
Mr. Knowitall: *grinning broadly* It will now be called... Sailor Matt -- Leader of the Sailor Digidestined!
All: *in horrified voices* WHAT?!
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*All of the Digidestined are staring with horrified faces at Mr. Knowitall and Kyra*
Kari: But isn't that idea already taken?
Mr. Knowitall: Don't worry, Kari, that's being taken care of.
*Kyra is seen in the back round handing a stack of money over to Makoto (Sailor Jupiter) and Rei (Sailor Mars). She then walks over to the group.*
Kyra: Everything's in order, sir! *salutes to Mr. Knowitall*
Matt: *trying desperately to get out of this situation* Um.... but what about the theme song?!
Kyra: Don't worry! I have one! It was written by my friend Easter!
Sora: I don't even want to know.
Kyra: Here it goes! *begins to sing. All of the Digidestined shudder instantly, except for Izzy whom Kyra has given ear plugs.*
?Fighting Taichi by the moonlight!
Breaking hearts by daylight!
Inspiring many a Yama website!
He is the one named Sailor Matt!
He will always turn his back on a friend!
T.K.'s the only one he'll defend!
There is no one of whom he'd befriend!
He is the one named Sailor....
Sailor Izzy!
Sailor Hikari!
Sailor Joe!
Sailor Takeru!
Fighting Taichi by the moonlight!
Breaking hearts by daylight!
Inspiring all the girls to write!
He is the one named Sailor Matt!
He is the one named Sailor Matt!
He is the one-!
Sailor Matt!?
Kyra: *finishing* Well?
All: *sweatdrop*
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Tai: Hey, wait a minute! Matt, Izzy, T.K., Joe, and Kari were the only 'Sailors' mentioned. What about me, Sora, Mimi, and....*sighs* Kyra?
Agumon: And the digimon!
Mr. Knowitall: We've got that all figured out. You four *points to Tai, Sora, Mimi, and Kyra* will be the Negaverse generals.
Kyra: Yep! Sora, you're Soraite (formally Jadeite), the first one. Tai, you're Taiite (formally Nephrite), the second one. Mimi, you're Mimiite (formally Zoisite), the third one. And I'm Kyraite (formally Malachite), the last one!
*All save Kyra and Mr. Knowitall sweatdrop*
Gabumon: But what about us?
Kyra: *grinning* Well, everyone but Patamon and Gatomon are going to be combining to be... Queen Digieryl (formally Queen Beryl)!
Gatomon: Well, what about me and Patamon?
Kyra: You guys will combine and become a Sailor Digidestined, Sailor Patomon!
Patamon: Oooookay....
Mr. Knowitall: All right, then! Let's run through a transformation scene!
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Matt: I'm not doing this.
Kyra: Maaaaaattttttt..... come ON! You're the leader!
Matt: I am NOT doing this!
Mr. Knowitall: YAMATO! Transform or be out of a job!
Matt: *sighs* Fine.
*Matt and T.K. hold up their Digivices*
Matt & T.K.: Ishida Crisis POWER!
*Both go through the transformation scene and strike poses at the end. Both boys have whatever hair they have up in pig-tails. Matt's looks like meatballs and T.K.'s looks like Devil horns*
Matt: *blushing* I'm Sailor Matt!
T.K.: I'm Sailor Chibi-Matt!
*Seeing this, the rest of the Digidestined and Mr. Knowitall are laughing hysterically*
Matt: *glaring* I'm not doing this by CHOICE!
Mimi: But you look so cute in that three-inch skirt!
Matt: *sweatdrops*
Izzy: *turning to Kyra* Why is T.K. Sailor 'Chibi' Matt?
Kyra: Think about it, Izzy.
*Izzy thinks about it and nods*
Izzy: Ah....
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Kyra: *going over script* So, anyway, Matt and T.K. use Sailor Moon and Chibi-Moon's outfits--
T.K.: I don't like that outfit! It's all PINK!
Kyra: Deal with it. *turns back to script* Izzy is in Sailor Jupiter's outfit-
Izzy: *sweatdrops* Why couldn't I have been a Negaverse general?
Kyra: Because I said so. Joe is in Sailor Mercury's outfit--
*Joe is seen trying to run away, but Mr. Knowitall stops him*
Kyra: And Kari is in Sailor Mars's outfit!
Joe: *sighing* I don't like this.
Kari: Sailor Mars's outfit is cool!
Gatomon: What about me and Patamon?
Kyra: Sailor Venus's outfit.
Patamon: But I don't look good in orange!
Mr. Knowitall: Tough.
Kyra: All right, you guys, transform.
*All five sweatdrop, but wearily agree*
Izzy: *in nearly inaudible voice* Izumi Star Power.
Joe: Kido Star Power.
Kari: Kamiya Star Power!
Patamon & Gatomon: Digimon Star Power!
*The transformation scene ends, and Izzy suddenly has his short hair in a makeshift ponytail, and Gatomon (who is sitting on Patamon's back) has a bow pinned to her head*
Izzy: I don't like this AT ALL.
Joe: This skirt is cold!
Kari: I feel so pretty!
Patamon: Ow! Gatomon, stop kicking me!
Gatomon: You deserve some pain! This bow is cutting off my circulation!
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Mr. Knowitall: All right, people, let's start the attack scene. Sora, you're the first general, remember? Lights, camera, action!
Sora: *fumbling with script* Um... you stupid Sailor brats! You think that you can get away from the ...Digi-negaverse? Well, ah, you can't! So there!
Matt: *continuing to blush horribly* Hold it right there! We aren't going to let you plague the Digiworld with your evils! For love and justice-
T.K.: Pretty soldiers in sailor suits!
Matt: I'm Sailor Matt!
T.K.: I'm Sailor Chibi-Matt!
Matt: For the name of Ishida-!
Matt & T.K.: You're finished!
Kari: *grinning* And we, the Sailor Senshi-!
Joe, Izzy, & Gatomon: *in weary voices* Won't forgive you either!
Sora: *is fast asleep*
Kyra: *walks onstage and shakes Sora in the shoulder* Sora! Sooorrrrrraaaaa...... come on, the speech is over!
Sora: *waking up* Huh? Oh, sorry, can we do that over again?
All (except for Sora): *sweatdrop*
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Kyra: Okay, now we're having a scene where the Sailor Digidestined are meeting in the coffee shop. They?re arguing a lot.
Mr. Knowitall: And..... action!
Kari: ...........
Kyra: Kari! What's wrong?
Kari: I can't say this.
Mr. Knowitall: Why not?
*Kari shows Mr. Knowitall the script. Mr. Knowitall changes it.*
Mr. Knowitall: There you go. Now... action!
Kari: Why, Matt, you... fudgeing piece of.... dog-doo, where were you?!
Matt: *rolling his eyes* I was doing my homework.
Kari: *anger symbols appear* Bull dog-doo, you little..... be-atch! Darned you, you're the leader!
Matt: *in whiny voice* But, Kaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrriiiiiiiiiiiiiii..... I waaaaaaaaaaaasssssssssss........
Kari: ...........
Kyra: What NOW, Kari?
Kari: This entire sentence is swear words!
T.K.: Cool! Really?!
Kari: *nodding* Yeah... hey, Tai, what does [censored] mean, anyway?
Tai: *from offstage* Kari! If mom ever finds out that you said that, you're dead!
Mimi: Who wrote that script?
Izzy: .........
Joe: ..........
Digimon: ..........
Kyra: .......... *blushes*
All except for Kyra and Mr. Knowitall: YOU WROTE IT?!
Kyra: *sweatdrop* No... Mr. Knowitall did....
Matt: Hey! You made me sound like a whiny little brat!
Tai: *muttering* Not much of a difference from the real you there....
*Matt lunges at Tai, both get involved in a fist fight. Meanwhile, the others continue to argue*
Sora: How dare you have Kari swear!
Kari: *turning to T.K.* Tai said that if I ever swear, he'd wash my mouth out with highly toxic soap.
T.K.: So?
Kari: *gesturing towards where Tai and Matt were still fighting* Well, he's fighting your brother at the moment. Should I wash my own mouth out?
T.K.: *thinking* Hm.... hey! I have an idea!
Kari: What?
T.K.: Since it's my brother who's fighting your brother, why don't I wash your mouth out instead of Tai?
Kari: *grinning like an idiot* Okay then! *walks off towards the bathrooms*
T.K.: *follows her* I'm coming! *evil grin*
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*The Digidestined and Mr. Knowitall are in the hospital. On one side, it's Kari, on the other, it's Tai*
Mr. Knowitall: Okay, kids. How did this happen?
Kari: *unable to talk so she has stolen Izzy's laptop and is writing it out in text* T.k. shoved 2 bars of sop down my throt.
Tai: *glaring daggers* T.K.! I wanted to do that!
Matt: *gives T.K. a high five* Looks like you've begun to understand the true meaning of the name 'Ishida'.
Joe: But T.K.'s last name is 'Takaishi', isn't it?
Izzy: He was born with 'Ishida'.
Joe: Ah...
Mr. Knowitall: *turning towards Tai* And what about you, Tai?
Kyra: *giggles suddenly*
Sora: What is it?
Kyra: *still laughing* Well, Matt, *giggle* are you so mad at me, now?
Matt: *sweatdropping* Yes!
Mr. Knowitall: What happened?!
Tai: Well, Matt and I were fighting. He was beginnging to lose, so he got cheap!
Mimi: Huh?
Matt: I transformed into Sailor Matt and kicked his sorry [censored]!
Izzy: Matt!
Matt: *blushing* Sorry.
Tai: *in outraged tone* It was totally unfair! That 'Ishida Tiara Slice' hurts!
Matt: Actually, it was 'Ishida Twig Elimination'.
Tai: *rolling his eyes* Whatever...
Kyra: *frowning* I guess that this means that the Digimon show is out for awhile, right?
Digidestined: *trying not to grin* Yes...
Mr. Knowitall: Well, I've decided to hand over job as director to Kyra again.
All except Kyra and Mr. Knowitall: WHAT?! WHY?!
Mr. Knowitall: Because I said so. *everyone fails to notice the brain-washing device in Kyra's hands*
Kyra: Great!
*Digidestined all sweatdrop*
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*Kyra is sitting in the Directors office, looking over her contracts*
Kyra: *giggling to herself* Next time, I alter them into Teletubbies!
*Suddenly, the door opens and two figures burst in. Before she can do anything, Kyra is tied to a chair with duck-tape*
Kyra: Who is it?!
Matt: *stepping into view* Hi, Kyra. *evil grin*
Izzy: *also stepping from the shadows* How are you doing?
Kyra: *in whiny voice* Izzzzzzz-zzzzzyy...... I thought you were always on my side!
Izzy: *shrugging* I was, until you made me wear a Sailor outfit.
Matt: *smirking* I told him that we would make sure that you NEVER did that again.
Kyra: *continuing to whine* But, Maaaaaaattttttt..... you're my muse! You can't tell me to stop writing! You help me write!
Izzy: Precisely.
Matt: *evil grin* Yeah. We're helping you write.
Kyra: *glowering* Jerks.
*Matt holds out a stack of papers*
Matt: Now... sign there. *points*
Kyra: And if I don't want to?
Izzy: We'll have Sora come in and try to make you?
Kyra: *suddenly imagines having to listen to Sora's nasally voice* Fine! I'll sign! I'll sign! *signs the form*
Matt: *smiles* THAT'S a good girl.
Kyra: *in defeated voice* What did I sign, anyway?
Izzy: Just a little contract we made up.
Matt: *puts some papers on Kyra?s desk* Here's your copy. Basically, it says that you have to be fair to us when you're the director.
Kyra: Fair? What does that mean?
Izzy: Shut up, Kyra. You know what we mean. Also, you have to keep the original Digidestined plot line.
Matt: Yeah, I?m not about to be in a show called 'The Digi-sitters Club'. *shudders*
Kyra: *eyes light up* That's a cool idea...
Izzy: Kyra.... *holds up contract*
Kyra: *slumps back down* Oh, yeah.
Matt: That's about it.
Izzy: Yep. Bye.
*Both Matt and Izzy leave*
Kyra: *struggling against the duck-tape* Um... guys? Guys?! C'mon, I?m still stuck here! Matt! Izzy! PLEASE! *glowers; snaps her fingers and frees herself*
Kyra: Lousy little jerks... they must die. No... Izzy's MUCH too cute... Matt's my muse, I can't kill him... Joe and Gomamon get along to well.... Tai's the leader, even though I do hate him at the moment, so he can't die... Mimi's okay....
Kyra: *thinking outloud to herself* Hmm... I wonder if the Sora fans will freak out and kill me if I kill her again? *looks out in the crowd and sees the Sora fans with their attack dogs on hand. Kyra gulps* Nooooooo.... I think I'll kill Kari this time. But only because tuffles told me to.
THE (really, really, REALLY pathetic) END
I don't own Digimon! I never will! Get it through your heads! ..... I don't own Sailor Moon either, I should probably say that... Oh, Sailor Moon fans? I love Sailor Moon! I?m not insulting it! Don?t get that idea, okay? *pleading eyes*